


The Brightest Shadow

by comeonlight



Category: Final Fantasy Type-0
Genre: A Mess™, Eventual Ambiguously One-Sided Romance-ish, F/F, Friendship, Gen, angst-ish, fluff-ish, talking about feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-20
Updated: 2018-12-20
Packaged: 2019-09-23 16:39:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 7,422
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17083943
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/comeonlight/pseuds/comeonlight
Summary: By chance, fate, or sheer force of will, Emina befriends a l'Cie whose humanity is anything but gone.





	1. White

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, I tried. Don't look at me.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emina finds herself face to face with someone extraordinary.

The moon shines in the cloudless night sky, nearly full and leaking light into Orience’s atmosphere. The humid air is unseasonably cold, and the smell of the sea is absent. The night feels so...vacant. It seems like all the excitement has worn off.

Emina stares out at the plains of Rubrum from the terrace, and silently reflects on recent events. She rolls her shoulders and tilts her head from side to side. The tribune outfit feels a bit stiff, but some wear should loosen it up. The Agito cadet uniform was the same way. And now it’s just hanging in her closet. It’s strange, maybe a little scary, how things change so suddenly. Just three days ago, she’d been holding tears back as she smiled at a generic graduation certificate with the Chancellor’s stamp on it. Now she’s a Dominion tribune, and - technically - a commanding officer.

Emina taps on the balustrade rail. Her gloves fit just right, and the nail on her right index finger is protected from the abrasion that always results from her habit. She’d never even noticed until someone had pointed it out a few years back and offered to give her a manicure. She ended up declining, but maybe she should’ve accepted the gesture. Maybe she should’ve tried doing normal teenager things and seizing as many opportunities to look away from reality as possible when she had the chance. Or, maybe she was right to keep her friend circle small. That way, less people hurt in the end.

Ugh. She’s doing it again. Brooding and dreading this and that. It’s pointless. No new orders have come in, so she should just carry on. Maybe Milites aborted their operation after the spy crackdown. Maybe the mark on her back will just fade away.

As if.

Emina draws a breath, holds it for a moment, and exhales slowly. She should get to bed. Akademeia will probably drop an assignment on her first thing in the morning. A slight smile appears on her face. There’s really no reason to be enthused, but she can’t help it.

All pondering ceases when Emina’s eyes catch a glint of white. She grips the railing with both hands and leans forward a tad, squinting through the night. A hooded figure approaches the Peristylium, and the moonlight reflects off the brighter parts of its attire. Emina can make out white, or something close to it, and a few specks of red. A cape? Though her vision is near perfect, the lack of daylight and the distance make identifying the person crossing the bridge connecting Akademeia to the mainland difficult to identify. A woman, probably. A dress? Definitely not common wear, and a red piece of armor…

No way. Emina blinks and quints again, but her eyes can no longer find the unidentified person. They’re nowhere on the bridge, and there’s nothing to suggest that Emina’s mind wasn’t just playing tricks on her. Nothing but her own confidence that she definitely saw someone.

Well, that’s one more thing to keep her up at night.

* * *

Just over a week later, Emina stands on the terrace again. It’s not as cold, and the moon is still shining brightly, though it’s in its waning phases now. How quickly will this month pass her by? Maybe it’s just all the stuff going on lately - graduation, becoming a CO, and most recently helping out on a mission to take care of a few monsters near Toguagh - but life feels like it’s moving way too quickly. And the quicker life goes, the sooner death comes. It’s a matter of time and time alone until someone discovers her brand. She has enough faith in Kazusa not to say anything; if he was going to turn her in, he would’ve done it already. But eventually she’ll get injured, or spied on, or examined as part of a formal investigation, and then…

“Stop it.” The rise in the speed of Emina’s pulse only serves to annoy her. She  _ needs  _ to calm down. Stress is the enemy of beauty, after all. She takes a long breath, and then sighs audibly. She has tomorrow off since she just got back from a mission. That means she can visit the Crystarium and check out a book. Reading always did calm her nerves a bit.

Emina covers her mouth and yawns. That’s it. Time to hit the sack and sleep in until hunger overpowers her desire to stay wrapped in her sheets. She stares at the moon a few moments longer, and then turns toward the portal to head back toward her room

It’s funny. For years she’d used this portal to go back to the entrance of the building and then head to class or use the Great Portal to go elsewhere. Now she goes straight to her quarters - hardly an upgrade from her accommodations as a cadet - or to Central Command, for the most part. And, of course, the frequent runs to different classrooms because CO’s without classes are apparently just the handiest folks for grading assignments.

Emina steps into the portal and returns to the entrance of Akademeia, standing in the middle of the Great Portal. Instead of taking her normal route back to her room, however, she allows a whim to persuade her into a detour. She frequents so many places around campus, and yet leaves so many neglected. That one garden, for example: a quiet place behind the unused Classroom Zero that would be the perfect spot for studying and relaxing if it weren’t so...enclosed. And the cemetery right next to it. It’s a morbid place by all means, but sometimes she finds herself thinking about it. Maybe it’s because she thinks about death so much. In any case, she finds herself especially drawn to it tonight. Her midnight stroll leads her to the only place in Akademeia where death is acknowledged as more than a document.

The gravestones shine under the moon, and the silhouettes of tree branches move only slightly in the breeze. Something shines in Emina’s peripheral vision. She turns in the light’s direction, and sees exactly what she was hoping to. The hooded figure from the previous week stands at the door to the mausoleum that serves as the entrance to the catacombs. Closer up, it’s very easy to identify this mysterious person as Emina’s first and only guess from the glimpse she’d caught before: the one journeying in the night is none other than the Vermilion Bird Crystal’s shadow, Lady Caetuna.

Her appearance arouses so many questions. Where is she returning from? Has the Crystal tasked her with something? Are l'Cie truly harbingers of death? Is war on the horizon? Emina’s choice of words has nothing to do with any of these.

“Um, Lady Caetuna? Is it okay if I talk to you for a minute?” Emina could laugh at her own question. What would she even talk about? The weather? Death? Feelings of guilt and loneliness? Based on the history she's read, Lady Caetuna would be able to relate to those sentiments - if she were human. But she isn't. She's a l'Cie, and has been for centuries. The Crystals sap the free will and emotions from their servants. Lady Caetuna’s heart withered away long ago.

Lady Caetuna turns away from the mausoleum doors. Shadows cover most of her face, but Emina can clearly spot her eyes. As their gazes meet, these very eyes shatter Emina’s notion like glass. Those scholarly journals equating l'Cie to soulless demons? Bullshit. Maybe Emina's familiarity with certain sorts of pain make it easier to identify, but one look at Lady Caetuna's stare makes it clear: she’s hurting too, and probably has been from the moment she gave herself to the Crystal. For all her beauty and composure, Lady Caetuna's pain is the singular thing that stands out most and, against all better judgement, demands that Emina inquire.

“Your burden. It hurts a lot, doesn't it?” Emina approaches and lowers her voice as the distance between herself and the l'Cie decreases. “Would you mind if…” What is she saying? She bites her lip. What does she even want to say?

“You misunderstand,” Lady Caetuna says in a tone softer than Emina had expected. “My suffering has ended. A matter as trivial as that is of no concern to me, let alone one such as yourself.”

Wrong. “You're wrong. Maybe you've become so used to it that you don't even notice.” Emina reaches for Lady Caetuna’s hand. It may not be exactly appropriate, but it feels like the most natural way to emphasize her point. “Your hand is warm.” It is, exceedingly so, and it's calloused from all her unknown deeds under the cover of nightfall. “You're alive. Until just now, I thought being a l'Cie for so long would take the pain away along with everything else. But one look in your eyes and I knew. You're not empty. Not at all.” Emina tightens her grip and bows her head.

“I do not comprehend the point you seek to make.” The response comes in a calm, flat voice.

Emina collects herself enough to speak clearly, but keeps her head down. “I apologize. Something came over me. I shouldn't expect you to understand immediately. It's not like I'm making much sense anyway. It's just that I never thought I'd see someone and know right then and there that...I'm not alone.” The two of them aren't the same by a long shot. But they're not that different, either. Now, as a dear friend had once done unto her, she looks up at Lady Caetuna with conviction. “Be my friend.”


	2. Learning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes the only way forward is to be stupid and selfish.

“She looked at me like I was crazy,” Emina recounts. She sits on the edge of Kazusa’s desk and lightly taps her foot on the floor. The odor of burnt  _ something _ lingers in the small laboratory, but it's probably best not to question what kind of experiment it resulted from. “Maybe I am.”

Kazusa highlights several phrases on two sheets of paper. “The fact that you got a reaction out of her at all is impressive. Historically speaking, Lady Caetuna tends to avoid us mortals.”

“It was a chance meeting.”

“Or fated, maybe. You seem very interested in her.”

“Of course I am.” Emina looks at Kazusa with a slight scowl. “She just...gets it. Well, maybe not what I'm saying, but what I'm feeling. She gets it.”

Kazusa raises his brow and opens a folder. “And I don't? Kurasame doesn't?” He uses as calm a tone as ever, but the words sting.

“I didn't say that. It's hard to put it into the right words. Like, I never feel safe. Ever. But for a second there, I...hmm.” Emina purses her lips.

“Hmm,” Kazusa echoes.

“Anyway, I asked her to train me. It's productive, and it's defending the Crystal in an indirect way. Sort of.”

“Really now? What did she say?” A hint of a smirk appears on Kazusa's lips as he skims through documents.

“She said she'll find me. I think she wants out. Of the catacombs, that is. Maybe that's the only reason she agreed. But hey, that means I get to see her again.”

Kazusa takes a moment to look up from his work and make eye contact. Emina wears a girlish smile that he doesn't see all that often. Its reappearance is like a breath of fresh air amidst all the recent changes and bustling days of work, work, and more work. “I haven't seen you this happy in a while, Emina.”

Emina crosses her arms. “Huh. I guess I am in a good mood. Plus, training will improve my performance on missions. If I do well, maybe they'll send me to Concordia eventually. The pictures are gorgeous. I can only imagine how it looks in person.”

Kazusa leans back and laughs. Despite Emina's responsive glare, he gives a sincere smile afterward. “I forgot you can be such a kid.”

Emina rolls her eyes. Freshly twenty-two hardly qualifies as a kid. Not in a society that forces people to grow up so quickly. “Whatever. Anyway, I'm going to head to Central Command.” She stands up and lightly flicks Kazusa's forehead. “Good seeing you.”

“Ta-ta,” Kazusa teases. “Have fun on your playdate.”

“I will.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah!” Emina can't hold back a giggle as she leaves the lab.

* * *

“I will find you.”

That’s what Lady Caetuna had said, but she never specified a time. How is the perception of time for someone who’s been around so long, anyway? Maybe she told a fib to keep a random stranger from pestering her. No, that’s not right. Emina thinks and thinks, nail tapping on the terrace railing, eyes on the waning crescent moon. It’s the third night in a row she’s done this, though the previous two nights she was more concerned about a dispute between a few folks down at the chocobo ranch and a couple of researchers that somehow ended up dragging half of Akademeia’s staff into the mess. But now that that’s been dealt with, she finds herself thinking back to that night in the cemetery. Did she seriously say pour her heart out? It  _ was  _ that time of the month, so she’ll blame it on that. The real question still remains. When will Lady Caetuna come find her?

The answer to that question turns out to be three nights later, on the new moon.

Emina strolls along the coast of the island, on the grass mere steps away from the beach. It can hardly be called that, but hey, it has sand. The tide is calm, as usual. The Peristylium seems far away, even though Emina can see its lights and details of the architecture. It’s really beautiful from this angle.

A presence disturbs the moment of peace. Someone else is here. Emina listens for movement.

Behind her. A single step.

“Wall!”

Lady Caetuna’s palm meets with the defensive spell, making a small crack in it. Her offensive stance quickly reverts to a neutral one. “You’ve keen senses.This is a necessity for combat.”

Emina’s defensive stance relaxes a tad. “Lady Caetuna. You found me after all. That was...sudden.”

“The most effective attacks are,” Lady Caetuna says. She touches the handle of her dagger. “I will not use this weapon, nor magic. I sense that your magic prowess wanes. To make the most of your potential, I suggest practice in the combat of fists and then weaponry.”

So, she’s ready to fight then. Emina forces a smile. “You can sense that? Here I thought I had a few more years of magic left. I guess I was wrong. Thank you for letting me know.” She dismisses her Wall and refortifies her stance. “Okay. Ready.”

Emina quickly learns two things: that her self-proclaimed “pretty good” hand-to-hand combat skills need work, and that Lady Caetuna kicks  _ major  _ ass even without whipping out the summons she’d read about in her school days. It makes sense. Someone with five hundred or so years to hone her skills ought to be pretty good in a fight. And someone who’s only been alive for a fraction of that time must look pretty damn pathetic lying in the dirt with aches and dirt all over.

Lady Caetuna kneels beside Emina and observes her state.

“I’m sorry,” Emina manages in what unintentionally sounds like a whine. “I only wasted your time.”

Lady Caetuna extends her hand into the air above Emina’s head. A wispy green light fades into sight around Emina’s body. “Your balance of power and agility is exceptional. Your stamina, however, can grow. At the start of our battle, you withheld your full strength. Against an enemy, this will prove fatal.” The green light fades away, taking with it the majority of Emina’s pain.

Emina stares up at Lady Caetuna with wide eyes. Then she smiles. “Caetuna. Do you mind if I call you that?”

Lady Caetuna stands. “Call me what you will.” She pauses and watches as Emina stands and wipes grass off of her clothes. “Why?”

“Because,” Emina says. “I consider you my friend. You’re really kind, even if you don’t see it. I hope that you’ll come to see me as a friend, too.”

Caetuna turns away abruptly. “...Please work to increase your endurance. I will find you when the moon is new once more.” She takes steps onto the sand, toward the water. Emina watches, at a loss for words. It’s like Caetuna’s running from something. Or, teleporting. In a flash of crimson, she vanishes completely.

“Stupid.” Emina sighs. What is she doing, trying to befriend a l’Cie? And furthermore, why can’t she help herself? Because Caetuna “gets it?” Caetuna’s been alone for so long that the thought of getting close to anyone probably terrifies her. If she gets scared. It certainly scares Emina. But being alone is even more scary. It took making close friends for her to see that. So, maybe she should go on being stupid. And selfish. If Caetuna ends up pushing her away completely, that’s fine. At least that would force her to toss away that indifferent facade. “So, so damn stupid.” This time, Emina chuckles to herself. The next new moon. That’s about a month to up her endurance a bit. When that time comes, she’ll be even more stupid and selfish.

* * *

Caetuna stands outside the tomb of a chancellor long forgotten. The Crystal’s light does not reach this hall, and dust covers the torches mounted on the walls. Darkness. Silence. This is her home.

_ “You’re really kind, even if you don’t see it.” _

The memory plays again and again. Caetuna’s chest tightens. Something buried deep is trying to crawl out of the remains of her heart. She mustn’t allow it.

_ “Why?” _

Her own words haunt her now. Why indeed? Why mustn’t she allow this? The answer becomes quite clear after asking herself that question. It’s a trivial thing she thought she’d lost to the days of yore; a simple, extraordinarily  _ human  _ weakness: fear. That leaves more questions in its wake. What is it exactly that she fears? Will she face it, or run? She supposes that she will discover these answers either before or when she next meets with the peculiar young woman known as Emina.


	3. Run

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some things never really go away.

After a hectic week of going back and forth between McTighe and Akademeia with mountains of papers to grade and sort on the side, all Emina wants to do is sleep through the day. Her to-do list isn’t having it, though. She’d decided on extending her morning jogs, and she sure can’t go back on that now. On days she doesn’t have work, she’ll eat breakfast first and then jog six kilometers or more, with a limited number of breaks. Only when that task is completed can she take a shower and fall into bed until the next morning. It looks good on paper, but in practice it's a huge pain. Still, she should be able to put up a better fight next time…

Emina places a hand over her stomach. It’s crazy how Caetuna could just knock the wind out of her and then heal her up like it was nothing. Healing magic hurts most of the time, and that pain scales with the severity of the injury. With all those scrapes and would-be bruises, she should’ve been at least swearing out loud at the stinging magic. Instead, the pain just faded away. She’d ask about that technique, if her magic wasn’t already weakening. She can hardly put out an Aerora spell anymore. What a shame.

Emina stretches her legs. She shouldn’t dawdle. She’s got two more kilometers before hitting her bare minimum. Maybe she can do more. After that, it’s back to the sweet haven of her room. With her eyes on the prize, Emina takes off once more.

* * *

A mission. Okay. It involves Milites. Not ideal.

“Your primary objective is to see that the Chancellor’s aide and the director of law enforcement return to Akademeia safely. Should the negotiation succeed, you are to escort the captured intelligence officer and the lost Chiharano research as well. Your printed briefings cover the fine details. Good luck to you all.” The Cadetmaster dismisses the group of military personnel standing in her office.

Once outside, Emina looks over the briefing. It’s a meeting with a Militesi official and his entourage, and it's extremely likely that none of them know she exists, but it’s still a little nerve-wracking. At least her comrades seem reliable. She hasn't spoken with Tachinami that much, but she knows he's capable. There are a couple of legionaries she's never met, but everything about them screams confidence. Last but not least, the commanding officer of Class Ninth is on board as well. It'll be fine, Emina tells herself, but she already knows that the closer she gets to the border, the lower her stomach will sink.

Four hours later, Emina’s stomach must be in her feet. The chocobo carrying her kwehs in concern, but she simply strokes its feathers and instructs it to keep in formation with the others. Chocobos are intelligent and caring creatures. Maybe that's why some people adore them so much. Plus, they're pretty cute.

“We're almost to the rendezvous point,” Tachinami says. Said location is Big Bridge. That's about as straightforward as it gets; it's a bridge and it's big. The party arrives at their destination, and the escorts arrange themselves around the aide and law enforcement director. A similar formation approaches from the other end of the bridge: several armed troops, a man in tattered clothing - clearly the captured intel officer -  and a relatively high-ranking official from Milites, based on his uniform. The soldiers don't phase Emina, but the official's red necktie makes her want to either run as quickly as she can in the opposite direction or stab him repeatedly until he stops breathing, and then some. Oddly enough, it's a familiar feeling.

The Chancellor’s aide wears a smile despite the circumstances, and speaks with the Militesi official as if he’s an old friend. The negotiation seems to go smoothly and quickly. The official hands the aide a large envelope. The aide hands the envelope to the director of law enforcement, who then checks its contents.

“Clear.” The director tucks the envelope under his arm and extends a small briefcase. The Militesi official takes it and looks inside. He turns his head over his shoulder and whistles. A soldier pulls Rubrum’s intel officer forward by a chain wrapped around his arms. A second soldier follows, gun at the ready. The official reaches into his front pocket and removes a single key. He removes the intel officer’s handcuffs, and tilts his head toward the Chancellor’s aide.

The soldier holding the chain yanks the intel officer forward and pushes him toward the party from Rubrum. He releases the chain, and the intel officer stumbles toward his rescuers. The group from Milites promptly begins their trek back toward the capital of their nation, presumably. Soon after, the Rubrans make their way back toward Akademeia. They arrive without incident.

Mission complete.

* * *

Emina jogs even more after that mission. Sometimes, she doesn’t bother to keep track of the time or distance. Sometimes she sprints, sometimes she gets dizzy, and sometimes she exchanges a quick word with a coworker in passing, but she doesn’t stop. Not until her water bottles are empty and her limbs are numb. It’s become another distraction, in addition to reading. If she sits and thinks too long, everything goes downhill. All because of some bad feeling from some person she’s never seen. How stupid.

The moon cycles through its phases, two more missions come and go, and Emina finds herself ready to explode because she hasn’t said a word about her distress, not even to Kazusa - and she won’t. The new moon will arrive soon enough. When that happens, she’ll share her thoughts with Caetuna. And hopefully, Caetuna will be willing to share her own. Emina gazes out her window at the waning crescent, and cracks a smile. Kazusa was right. She really can be such a kid. A starry-eyed, daydreaming, foolish child.


	4. Make Believe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fantasy is the neighbor of reality.

It takes considerably longer for Caetuna to beat Emina into the dirt with her bare hands this time. Emina actually puts a few good scratches on her mentor, too. Though, of course, they begin to visibly heal almost immediately.

“You’ve improved,” Caetuna says, readying a Cure spell. “But, you seem distracted. Focus only on the enemy when in combat.” She heals Emina with a wave of her hand.

Emina rises to her feet and stretches her arm across her chest. “You’re not my enemy.” She stretches her other arm. “But, I am distracted. I have been for some time. I’m sorry to keep asking things of you, but would you mind if we spoke in private? Like, really private?”

For someone who presumably has very little social interaction, Caetuna can read people extremely well. She doesn’t question Emina at all, instead touching her shoulder.

Everything goes black.

Emina’s eyes dart in all directions in search of a light source. Where is she? It’s quiet. The ground is solid. There’s no distinct smell, and it’s a little chilly. Where is Caetuna? What did she do?

A flame ignites an old torch mounted to a wall made of stone. Caetuna stands not an arm’s length away, apparently observing whatever panic has made itself evident on Emina’s face. Emina blinks and takes a look at her surroundings. She and Caetuna stand in a seemingly endless hallway with doors and stone benches every ten meters or so. There’s something about this place that’s not necessarily unsettling, but abnormal.

“Will this place do for privacy?” Caetuna asks.

Emina nods slowly. “Uh...yeah. Where are we, exactly?”

“The catacombs.”

The catacombs. Technically sacred ground - or, underground - if Emina recalls correctly. And, historically, home to the Vermilion Bird’s l’Cie.

Caetuna takes a few paces to the nearest bench and takes a seat. Emina follows and sits on the opposite end, as far as physically possible. Would it be rude to sit close? Should she even bother with “proper” behavior at this point? She just doesn’t know. It feels like she doesn’t know anything anymore. Scratch that; she knows how to do and say stupid things.

“It’s a long story. It’s probably best to talk about why I’m distracted first. But, it wouldn’t make sense without background.” Emina scratches her head. If she tells Caetuna her secret, what will happen? It’s not like she’s a threat to the Crystal, but on the off chance that the l’Cie decides she should die, then...that’s that. “This is more difficult than I thought. Is it okay to ask something first?”

Caetuna’s indifferent expressions are starting to become comforting. “Proceed.”

Emina crosses her legs. “Do you get lonely? Or, do you ever feel trapped? Like no matter how much you want something, you can’t pursue it? Like your life isn’t even yours?”

“This life belongs to the Crystal,” Caetuna says flatly. “I relinquished my own long ago. I am merely a vessel used to carry out Divine Will.”

“I don’t buy it. You’re helping me train. You heal me after we spar.” Emina touches her neck, where she’d been hit earlier.

“A duty of yours is to defend Rubrum, and by extension the Crystal. I agreed to facilitate your training for that purpose.”

“It’s more than that. We both know it. I must look like the biggest idiot in Orience right now but believe me when I say I know what loneliness looks like. Caetuna, why do you try to bury who you are?”

Emina's words seem to break through at least one barrier. Caetuna ponders before giving an answer, and when she does speak, she uses an extraordinarily quiet voice.

“It hurts less.”

Emina stares at the ground. The women remain silent as the flame quietly eats away at the kindling in the torch. Maybe, Emina considers, she’d been trying too hard to draw similarities between the two of them, and believing in things she had no proof of. But now? Caetuna herself gave all the proof she could need that they have plenty in common.

“My home was destroyed in a conflict between Rubrum and Milites,” Emina finally says. “The Empire took me in. Then they isolated me, and trained me to be a spy. I can’t remember a lot of it, but whenever I see that uniform...that red scarf, I- No.” She grimaces. “The reason I’m here in Akademeia is to tear the dominion apart from the inside. If that’s what I’m meant to do, I shouldn’t get close to anyone, right? It hurts less that way.”

More silence, save for the kindling crackling. An ember flies out of the torch as the light dims.

Emina scoots toward Caetuna on the stone bench, still staring downward. “...But, you know? Somehow, I still ended up cherishing a couple of people. Even if it’ll hurt like hell eventually, they make me smile in the present. With or without friends, I’m headed toward a terrible end. I might as well try to be happy. I don’t know if that’s selfish or what. If I could have it my way I’d just be…” She pauses, and swallows. “I’d stay a part of the dominion, and forget all about the spy thing. This place is my home. Or, I want it to be.”

The flame gives a few dying flashes before the hallway goes dark again. Emina blinks rapidly in the blackness, silently  considering all she’s just revealed and whether it will be her demise. Caetuna turns her head toward the young woman, and her words act as a force of nature all their own. “This is your home.”

Emina laughs nearly inaudibly as tears fill her eyes. “You and I are each bound by a duty we can’t escape. Wouldn’t it be nice to pretend we can?”

Caetuna entertains the thought. “Perhaps it would.”

Maybe the walls Caetuna put up weren’t as strong as Emina originally thought. Or maybe, Caetuna had been fighting to tear them down as well.


	5. Soulmate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A conversation with Kazusa.

“You really told her everything.” Kazusa sips his noontime coffee and leans against one of the several bookshelves in his lab. “You sure that was the best idea?”

Emina sits in Kazusa’s chair, lightly pressing her fingertips together. “If it was anyone else, I wouldn't have said a word. But, I felt like I could let it out.”

“And the fact that you did let it out doesn't make you feel anxious at all?”

“No.” Emina laughs to herself - or  _ at  _ herself. “I feel more relieved than anything.”

Kazusa lets out a hum and reaches into his pocket. “You must really trust her, then. That's unexpected from someone as guarded as yourself. And this is an implicit feeling?” He takes a sugar packet from the depths of his pocket.

“Yeah. You could say that. It's almost like I was meant to run into her. I feel like we're connected in some way.”

“Alright, Mademoiselle Fairytale,” Kazusa jests. “Though, it does sound like a soulmate case, in some capacity.”

“Soulmates?”

“That's what I said. You have a soul. She has a soul. And your souls have been connected since long before you met.”

Emina’s posture eases into a slouch as she entertains the idea. “Even if it does feel that way, wouldn't ‘soulmates’ be a stretch? It's just one lonely person running into another lonely person and being annoying enough to get her to go outside.”

“It's more of a feat than you make it out to be.” Kazusa pours sugar into his coffee. “So, you've made plans?”

Emina takes a spoon from Kazusa’s desk and tosses it to him. “Yeah. Kind of. She's going to stop by my room… ‘soon.’ I'm going to buy a few novels and some nail polish in a bit. Girls’ night in kind of thing.”

Kazusa doesn't bother trying to hold back a smile as he stirs his coffee to perfection. “That's adorable.” He sips from his cup as Emina stands up. “Going?”

Emina steps toward the door. “Yeah. Papers to grade, shopping to do. Say hi to Kurasame for me if he drops by.”

Kazusa sighs. “I can only pray. Have fun with your new buddy.”

Emina can't tell if he's being sincere or not, but she answers with a simple, “I will,” before exiting the lab.


	6. Fault

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The relationship blossoms.

“I think that’s what’s maintained my sanity. So-called.” Emina takes a novel from her bookshelf and returns to edge of her bed, where Caetuna waits. “You can’t forget someone if they’re not real, right? Even if it’s a silly story, you can think back and laugh. It’s a good distraction from…”

“Fear?” Caetuna makes an attempt to find Emina’s lost words. “Or, being alone with one’s thoughts, which brings about fear.”

“Don’t I know it,” Emina says, setting the novel behind Caetuna. She reaches for the set of nail polish she’d purchased a few days ago. “Well, tonight’s all about facing our fears and growing closer. Do you trust me?”

Caetuna tucks her chin to her chest. “Enough to stay. I haven’t an idea why. Do what you will.”

Emina smiles for no reason that she can pinpoint. She begins to show off the nail polish colors, one by one. “Which color would you like? Red? Green? Pink? Peach? Clear? I could add glitter, too. Or paint the tips white. Anything you want, really.”

Caetuna frowns. Why did she agree to this, again? Well, it beats being alone - surprisingly. “I...Something simple.”

The vague request seems to do the trick. Emina nods. “Got it.” She takes a file to the worn and uneven nails on Caetuna’s fingers, and slowly but surely smooths them out. Caetuna watches with intrigue as rough edges become round. Next, Emina wipes Caetuna’s hands with a damp rag. She sets aside one jar of nail polish and then examines Caetuna’s fingers closely. “I guess I can’t ever hope to understand you one hundred percent. And that’s fine. Both similarities and differences are what make friendships work.”

Caetuna remains silent, unsure how to respond.

Emina reaches for a second color of nail polish. “Your hands are warm, by the way. It’s nice.”

Caetuna looks at their hands, and considers how Emina’s skin feels. “Your hands are...nice, as well. Your skin is soft.”

The words seem to charm Emina in some way or another. The young woman smiles and begins to paint Caetuna’s nails. “Thanks. I’m happy you decided to spend time with me.”

Caetuna holds her breath a moment. It feels as if her very heart let out a scream and then returned to its normal function. It’s that feeling again: fear. But, as Emina said, tonight is about facing fear. As foolish and doomed as this new path may seem, she will see for herself where it leads.

* * *

Caetuna reads by torchlight, deep within the catacombs. A clear coat of nail polish shines as she turns each page. She admires the white tips of her fingernails nearly every time.

* * *

Some months later, the pair eats ice cream on the roof of Akademeia. The area is higher up than other balconies and terraces, and it’s very small with a single bench. Allegedly, it served as a watchtower at some point in the past. Now, it’s a secluded place that hardly anyone knows about. But, it gives a nice view of the Rubrum region and it’s perfect for...eating ice cream and idle chat.

“Here.” Emina hands Caetuna a napkin. Caetuna dabs at the corners of her mouth. She takes another bite of the ice cream. She seems to be getting the hang of it. Really, she seems more interested in the view. Emina can’t blame her, on a nice day like this.

“Thank you for this,” Caetuna says without looking away from the scenery. She seems to be opening up lately. What that spells for the future, who knows? And for the moment, who cares? Emina bites into her ice cream, and savors the sweet taste. This moment seems familiar somehow, in a good way. Maybe Kazusa wasn’t too far off about the soulmates thing. Or maybe she’s just crazy.

* * *

The first time Emina sees Caetuna smile, she’s twenty-four and daring. It’s a dirty move, really; getting Caetuna to lie down and close her eyes with the promise of a surprise. Well, it  _ is  _ a surprise, just probably not the type Caetuna’s expecting. What  _ would  _ she expect, anyway? She’s still hard to read in many ways. Well, in any case, she’s probably not anticipating this. 

Emina sits at the foot of her bed and removes her gloves. “Almost ready.” Her hands hone in on Caetuna’s feet, and tickle away.

Caetuna leaps to her feet with a squeak. “What in Orience is this tomfoolery?” She musters what she can of a glare as Emina goes red in the face from holding back laughter.

Emina takes a deep breath and further suppresses the giggles dying to be let out. “I wanted to see what you look like when you laugh. It was worth a shot, right?

Caetuna sits down beside Emina with a vague pout on her face. She views Emina’s contrasting expression: a raised brow and pressed lips with twitching corners. After a few moments of silence, Caetuna’s lips ease into a slight smile. “You look ridiculous.”

Emina’s silly expression fades into something new; wide-eyed like she’s suddenly enthralled by...something. Caetuna waves her hand in front of Emina’s face, and her smile widens when Emina blinks and looks away.

“Well,” Emina says. “Thanks for coming to hang out. It’s always nice to have you around.”

“Thank you for the hospitality,” Caetuna replies. “Foot assault aside.”

“And you’re really sure you want to go back to the catacombs? It’s not like you’re unwelcome in Akademeia. We have all this scenery. And far more interesting people than me.”

“Visiting you is already a step out of line and a mistake.”

“But you don’t regret it, do you?”

“Currently, no.” Caetuna sighs. “When wartime arrives, however, I may. I will kill, and I will likely kill indiscriminately. And eventually, I shall atone.”

Emina places a hand on top of Caetuna’s. “We don’t see eye to eye in that respect. None of it’s your fault, you know.”

“Is that so?”

“It is. And I'll keep saying it. It's not your fault.”

Caetuna closes her eyes. Even if what Emina says is true, the guilt remains. Still, even if she doesn’t deserve it, she was able to smile. It may be her last. The balance between the Crystals is unstable. Soon, war will return to Orience, as it always does. That is plain to see. 


	7. Inevitability

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> People change. War doesn't.

It shouldn't be shocking. Orience is wrapped up in a war, after all. Nothing should be a surprise. Still, the news catches Emina off guard.

“I will summon the Verboten Eidolon.” Caetuna speaks with a matter-of-fact certainty, but her eyes tell that she’s anything but indifferent to the idea. Knowing this, Emina makes an attempt to comfort her.

“I’ve had nightmares about doing horrible things,” Emina begins. She leans against the railing of the terrace and looks out at the dreary scene, with Caetuna following her lead. “I've _done_ horrible things. And now you have to do something that...no one with a heart could live with, and it isn't the first time either. But you know? It's not your fault. You'll take responsibility for it, because that's just the way you are. But it's not your fault.”

“Our reasoning does not fail to diverge,” Caetuna comments. “I chose the path of l'Cie. Thus, all subsequent actions are due to my own decision.”

Emina rolls her eyes. “Well, if you really want to keep thinking like that, I can't stop you. Since that's the case, there's something you need to hear, even if it's from just one person.”

Caetuna looks down at the bridge to the mainland. Legionaries, cadets, and commanding officers head out on chocobos. “What would that be?”

Emina reaches for Caetuna's hand. Caetuna allows her hand to be held, but doesn't return the grip. Emina says her piece with complete confidence, a statement of absolute truth: “I forgive you.”

Caetuna turns her head, somehow taken aback by such simple words.

Emina turns fully and reaches for Caetuna's other hand. “No matter the transgression or shortcoming, no matter if this entire world hates you, I forgive you. And I will treasure you, always.”

This moment, like several others shared with Emina, feels familiar. Caetuna wonders if someone she'd known in ages past had acted this way, or more specifically, made her feel this way. It's no use trying to remember who or when, of course, but maybe the recognition of the warmth she feels inside is because her body remembers. Maybe she's gone mad from acting like a human one day out of the month. Maybe madness is what she needs right now. She pulls her hands out of Emina’s grip and works to pull the tribune’s gloves off before properly entwining their fingers.”Thank you. For all you've shown me, and all you've done for me. These cherished memories I shall take into crystal slumber.”

With those words, the realization hits. This is their last encounter. Emina sighs and steps closer, hugging Caetuna without warning. “Feelings are really complicated, aren't they?”

Surprisingly enough, Caetuna returns the embrace. “So they are.”

* * *

Emina places a freshly filled water bottle on Kazusa’s desk and sits on a stool nearby. Kazusa stares at research reports with an empty expression. A tonberry wearing an Akademeia-issued uniform paces around the room. Maybe he's the most deeply affected by the loss of...someone. Still, Emina’s never seen Kazusa like this. It's chilling.

Emina watches the tonberry. He's a longtime friend, even though she's not sure how they met. Logic points to it having to do with the person who died. The tonberry had definitely always been by someone's side, but everything about that person is...gone. From memory, that is. There's evidence all around that they were here once, down to the holes left in the hearts of those who held them dear.

“You really cared for that person.” Emina breaks the silence with the most obvious statement in the world. It's almost unfair. She's guaranteed to keep the memory of at least one person dear to her, now that Caetuna has sublimated. But with that comes the pain of knowing they'll never speak again, in this life. It hasn't really sunk in yet. Kazusa on the other hand is clearly missing a part of himself, fully aware that it lies somewhere beyond reach.

“Must've,” Kazusa says in a near whisper. “So this is what it means to lose someone you love. What say you? Is it better to remember or forget the other half of your heart?”

Emina places a hand above her chest. “Other half? I wouldn't go that far. It’s only…” The reality settles in somewhat, and goosebumps form on her skin. “It hurts. There wasn't enough time.” Her breath shortens as she blinks tears away. Why does she feel this way? Is this why the Crystal taking away memories is considered a blessing? “I loved her. Pulse knows why, but I loved her.” Emina’s expression fades to something blank, much like Kazusa’s. “And I never told her.”

Ironically, this causes Kazusa to smile. “Maybe not with those exact words. Regardless of whether she could understand it, she knew. And I'm certain that I made my feelings perfectly clear to our fallen friend.”

Emina mimics Kazusa’s smile. “Yeah. You're that kind of person. I'll try to get hands on the knowing tag later.”

Kazusa leans back in his chair. “Thank you.”

Emina nods. “I'm gonna head back to my room.” She gestures to her chest. “Pillows available if you need to cry. See you later.”

Kazusa's smile fades as Emina leaves the lab.

Emina returns to her room and almost immediately falls into bed. She notices a folded sheet of paper resting on her nightstand. She stretches her arm and reaches out for it, just barely able to catch it between her fingers. It could simply be an old document she forgot to put away, or it could be a note that Caetuna dropped off to give her some closure. The latter would be more than a stretch, but…

Emina unfolds the paper and reads over the words. She smiles, and closes her eyes.


End file.
